honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize