When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
