My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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