btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
