69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
