she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
