420 ftw
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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