It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize