Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
