its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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