Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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