Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
