Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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