My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
