she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
