you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
