the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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