i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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