i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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