i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
