i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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