Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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