Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
