You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
