Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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