And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
