Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
