I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize