Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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