I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
