Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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