He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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