yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
