Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
