wrigley field is MILF paradise
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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