i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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