Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have aggressive nipples.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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