It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Damn victory sex feels great
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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