got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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