uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
