he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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