so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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