I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
