Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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