You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
