Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
