so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
