you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
