:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How external is "for external use only"?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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