They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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