If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
