Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
time to smoke my breakfast
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize