she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
