if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
