we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
