So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just cropdusted the office
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hippo gnu deer
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
