So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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