I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
