Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
