oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My dick has a subreddit
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh god it's open bar.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
