Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize