Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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